Fill your life with the canvas of love

By Cindy Jury

I was recently asked to share my life story. I began to reminisce and realized that for me, my childhood was full of colors.

When you think of growing up, what colors do you see? I had gigantic pink flowers papered on my walls. I was surrounded. My room was a jungle of fuchsia orchids with matching sheer curtains. I remember staring at them while trying to fight sleep. At some point, the pink became too much. It felt like Pepto-Bismol every day. Anything pink now felt like an insult.

My mom had mercy on me and used her decorative savvy to turn pink into yellow. It was like staring at the sun too long, then closing your eyes. I saw dots when I blinked.

If we were to examine childhood hurts, they would have a shade all their own. We’ve all been hurt, and we can carry the darkness into our lives. Life is full of struggles, which can bring strong, dark tones creating depth. But if we live with old hurts, at what point do they become like too much nauseating Pepto-Bismol pink?

I have a 30-something friend who suffered abuse at a daycare center as a child. Through our prayerful relationship, we have seen how this still affects her adult life. Sometimes it's just little things, like being self-conscious or less outgoing than she would like to be. Sometimes it is facing the monsters of her past in large ways. But through our relationship of taking it all to God, I have seen her overcome her demons to become a beautiful woman who has found inner healing. Her childhood colors are mostly dark, but as a woman they have blended, bringing perfect hues.
I asked her what colors she sees when she looks back. She replied, “Black and red.” I was taken aback at her choice and asked her why. Black represented sadness and fear, while red reflected anger and abuse.
She shared with me that her life is now filled with bright blues and yellows of family. She has found peace in calming beiges and aqua greens, which remind her of the ocean and love.

I asked her how she found these new shades of life, and she replied, “Because I’m on this journey of discovering that God really loves me.” Had she followed the patterns of her childhood, she would feel abandoned. Instead, she now lives in the love of God.

My friend observed that while the blacks and reds (experiences of sadness, fear and anger) were not necessarily good, she would be a different person without those shades in the landscape of her life.
We all have a life story full of different colors. I ask you to think about the colors in your life in a spiritual way. If your life was a canvas and you could choose from an artist’s palette of paints, what would you select? We can’t choose every color or experience in our lives, but we do have a choice of letting go of old hurts and finding healing through God’s love and power which opens up our lives, bringing an infusion of new bright colors. Like my friend said, “He really does love us.”

The artist Thomas Kinkade fills his paintings with love notes for his wife by hiding the letter “N” for Nanette. He also sends little messages of love to his daughters. God fills our life canvases with love notes of healing and forgiveness. He is not distant. He is passionate about us. He wants the best for us. He is not like too much pink. He is like the brightness that stays with you after you close your eyes when you stare at the sun.

In the art studio of life, not only is he the artist, but he is the light streaming through the window, bringing illuminating love and healing to the multi-colored canvas of your life. Just ask.

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